Embracing the Power of Conversation: My Experience with "You Can't Ask That" on International Day of Persons with Disabilities
To be honest, I wasn't entirely sure what to expect going into the
event. The concept of people asking potentially uncomfortable or awkward
questions about disabilities in the workplace had me feeling both curious and
cautious. But what transpired during the event was far beyond what I
anticipated, and I walked away feeling deeply moved and overwhelmingly positive
about the experience.
Breaking Down Barriers with Open Dialogue
One of the things that struck me most about the event was the level of
thoughtfulness and respect that came through in the questions. Rather than the
typical misunderstandings or assumptions that can sometimes surround
disability, the audience asked incredibly insightful and compassionate
questions. They weren’t afraid to ask, but they did so with a sense of empathy
and a genuine desire to understand.
For example, there were questions about how to foster inclusivity in the
workplace, how managers can better support employees with disabilities, and how
to navigate awkward moments without making people feel uncomfortable. These are
the types of questions that show a true commitment to learning and building a
more inclusive environment. Here is an extract of some of the question and my
answers:
What is one thing you wish people understood about your disability?
One thing I wish people understood about Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder
(PTSD) is that it's not just about reliving traumatic events through flashbacks
or nightmares. PTSD can manifest in many different ways, including emotional
numbness, difficulty with relationships, and heightened anxiety. It's a complex
condition that affects not only how a person feels, but how they experience the
world and interact with others. It’s also important to recognize that PTSD is
not a sign of weakness, but rather a response to overwhelming stress or trauma
that requires understanding, support, and professional care. People with PTSD
are not "choosing" to feel this way—they are often trying to cope
with overwhelming feelings, memories, and triggers that can make daily life
incredibly challenging.
If someone notices or has questions about PTSD (Post-Traumatic Stress
Disorder), I would appreciate it if they approached the topic with sensitivity,
respect, and understanding. Here are a few key points to keep in mind:
Approach with Compassion as
PTSD can be deeply personal and difficult to talk about. It's important to
approach the subject with kindness and without judgment. A gentle tone and an
open heart can make a big difference. Let me know that I can speak openly, but
don't pressure. Ensure I feel safe to share. Also, avoid assumptions as
everyone's experience with PTSD is unique. Avoid making assumptions about how
someone feels or what they’ve gone through. Instead, listen carefully and be
open to what they choose to share. Furthermore, respect boundaries, not
everyone with PTSD wants to talk about it, and some might find certain topics
triggering. Be mindful of their comfort level and avoid pushing for information
if they aren't ready. Finally, Offer Support instead of offering unsolicited
advice or solutions, ask how you can support them. Sometimes, simply listening
and validating their feelings is the most helpful thing.
Oh and one last thing! I’ve
asked my loved ones to be patient. Healing from PTSD takes time. Be patient and
understanding if the person doesn't seem ready to engage or if their emotional
state fluctuates. Overall, the best way to approach someone with PTSD is with
empathy, respect, and a willingness to listen, while understanding that they
may need time and space.
I develop and facilitate in-person workshops for employees. What
accessibility measures are sometimes overlooked?
I would say, overcrowded classes and the occasional obligation of speaking
in front of the class or present answers. This can be very difficult for
someone with mental health issues.
Discussing and accommodating invisible disabilities is difficult, almost like a coming out. How does this affect you at work?
The experience has been nothing short of positive. Through honest
discussions, my manager clearly understands my strengths and weaknesses, he
coordinates my workload accordingly and I also let him know if changes are
required. As for my peers, they have been wonderful and accommodating.
Living with PTSD has been an incredibly challenging journey, but it has
also taught me valuable lessons that I now carry with me every day. Here’s what
I’ve learned and what I wish to share with others:
Healing is not linear: There are good days and bad
days, and that’s okay. PTSD isn’t something you “get over” quickly; it’s
something you learn to manage. The healing process doesn’t follow a straight
path. Understanding this has allowed me to be kinder to myself during the tough
moments.
It’s okay to seek help: For a long time, I believed
that asking for help meant I was weak or that I should handle it on my own. But
reaching out to therapists, support groups, and loved ones has been crucial. It
takes strength to ask for help, not weakness.
Mindfulness and grounding
techniques are lifesaving:
PTSD can sometimes make you feel as though you're stuck in the past, reliving
traumatic events. Through mindfulness, deep breathing, and grounding
techniques, I’ve learned to stay connected to the present moment, which helps
me manage overwhelming emotions and memories.
Self-compassion is
essential: PTSD often involves feeling
shame or guilt, even when these feelings aren't deserved. Learning to treat
myself with the same compassion, I would offer a friend has been
transformative. It’s okay to have setbacks and be imperfect.
You’re not alone: PTSD can make you feel
isolated, as if no one else understands what you’re going through. But I've
learned that there are so many others who share similar experiences. Finding a
community of people who can relate has been incredibly healing and has helped
me realize that my struggles are valid.
You are more resilient than
you realize: At times, PTSD made me feel weak, like I couldn’t handle
life. But looking back, I can see how much I’ve grown, how resilient I’ve
become, and how I’ve adapted to my circumstances. It’s given me a deeper sense
of inner strength.
Patience with yourself is
crucial: Recovery takes time, and it often feels frustrating when
progress doesn’t happen as quickly as I want it to. But I’ve learned that
healing requires patience — with myself and with the process.
Therapeutic and Uplifting
To my surprise, the event turned out to be therapeutic in many ways.
Sharing my experiences and engaging in these conversations helped me process my
own journey with disability in the workplace. There’s something incredibly
empowering about having a platform where you can speak openly, share personal
stories, and express your needs, especially when those stories are heard and
valued by others.
It was also an important reminder that, while navigating life with a
disability can sometimes feel isolating, we are never truly alone. There is
always someone out there who is willing to listen, help, and support. The
conversations that took place during the event reminded me that we’re all part
of a larger community, and when we lean on each other, we all grow stronger.
Redefining Workplace Inclusion
The event made me reflect on how far we’ve come and how far we still
have to go in terms of workplace inclusion for people with disabilities. Yes,
progress is being made, but conversations like these, underscore the importance
of continuing to break down barriers. Awareness and understanding are key
components to building workplaces where everyone, regardless of their
abilities, can thrive.
The openness of the event also made me realize how much more work we
need to do to normalize discussions about disability. When we create
environments where it’s okay to ask questions, where there’s a focus on empathy
and respect, we not only educate others, but we also contribute to making
workplaces and society more inclusive.
A Sense of Belonging
At the heart of the event was a sense of belonging. Everyone in the
discussion—whether a panelist or an attendee—was part of a shared mission: to
create a world where people of all abilities can contribute, excel, and be
accepted. That feeling of unity was truly heartwarming, and it was clear to me
that when we work together, we can all make a positive impact.
Moving Forward
As I reflect on my participation in "You Can't Ask That," I’m
filled with hope and optimism. It was an experience that not only shed light on
the challenges faced by people with disabilities in the workplace, but also
emphasized that change starts with understanding.
The event was a success, not just in the sense of the questions and
discussions it sparked, but in how it reminded all of us of the power of
empathy, curiosity, and willingness to learn. Moving forward, I hope this kind
of initiative becomes more common, creating spaces where individuals with
disabilities are empowered to share their experiences and where others can ask
questions in a safe and meaningful way.
To anyone out there with a disability, know that you are not alone. And
to those who are willing to listen and learn, thank you. Together, we can
create workplaces that truly embrace diversity in all its forms, where everyone
has the opportunity to thrive and contribute to the greater good.
Please don't hesitate to share your thoughts and your experiences in the comments below!
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